Nativity

 Hello all. Please excuse the lateness of this blog. It was Messy Christmas yesterday afternoon. Three times the usual amount of people attended which was both wonderful and horrific at the same time. I got home with just enough energy to eat a pizza, glug a glass of wine and watch a Lucy Worsley documentary about Sherlock Holmes. Done.

I didn't have enough time to take an arty-farty photo of what we made on our craft table but I have bunged the photo of the instructions on instead. I thought that it looked a bit complicated when I was sent it mid-week but it turned out to be perfectly fine and, something I still need to learn is that the kids do exactly what they want and always tend to be satisfied with the results anyway. It's the parents who are picky. Having been involved in one thing or another with children's work for about  - blimey, just adding it up - 45 YEARS, you would think I'd got the hang of it by now. Nope. However, I have seen many Nativity Plays come and go and have actually directed/managed a few of them and wondered if it would be helpful to read what I have learned.

1. In the main, most people like their Nativities to be at least a bit traditional. People who don't darken the door of a church from one year to the next can be a bit bolshy if they are denied shepherds, wise men, angels etc. It can be a bit tempting to move the goalposts a bit and involve singing flowers, aliens, rubber ducks - that sort of thing - especially if there are a lot of children to fit in. However, in the main, children seem happier being the seventeenth angel or the Innkeeper's wife's puppy rather than leaving the main story behind. The legendary school Nativity my friend attended which managed to get all the way through without Baby Jesus making an appearance was more down to Mary taking against the dolly she had been given rather than a catastrophic breakdown in God's Great Theological Plan so everyone seemed okay with it.

2. Feel free to wing it. You can type words out if you like (I would advise laminating as well. The chances of a small piece of paper making it in one piece to the first speech are very small). This is especially useful for the Angel Gabriel so that the cast knows why they are all gathered there. Other than that, it's fine to have an adult narrator reading out the story and several people ushering little people from point to point on the stage. 

3. If, during the performance, you are at the back of the hall and you hear the Narrator say "Well, I'm not sure how that will be with Health and Safety but we will carry on,"  on no account try to check out what is happening. Pretend you are Indiana Jones at the end of Raiders and, if you can get away with it close your eyes. That way, when the fire/police/ambulance enquiry begins you can truthfully say that you didn't see anything. This probably won't work if you are the designated Health and Safety officer.

4. Don't cross any of the people doing the catering. They will be people on the edge. Usually, they are trying to make an interesting buffet out of seven ham sandwiches, a bag of Wotsits and eight hundred mince pies. This is because no one bothered to read the list of needed food which had been at the Reception Desk since the Coronation of the King. (In my defence - I did phone up to ask what they wanted but, as nobody knew, I thought I was safe enough with mince pies). 

5. If the Pastor's kids want to sing lead in Away in a Manger. I would always let them. There are precious few advantages to being a Pastor's kid in church. ("Oooh, you wouldn't have thought she would behave like that - being the child of the pastor." or being sent to the back of the queue when Tunnocks Tea Cakes are being given out because we are not sure if we have enough and we need to give to the guest children first. You know the sort of thing). If anyone says  - "It's not what you know - it's who you know" in a "jokey" way. Just say, well yes that and the fact that we auditioned your child and she just wasn't confident on the high notes I'm afraid. Never mind.

6. Children, as a rule, tend to roll with whatever you ask them to do. At this stage in the year, lots of them are being heavily blackmailed vis a vis Santa seeing them when they are sleeping and awake etc. so are on their best behaviour. Adults, however, will not think twice about chucking a horrendous spoke in your wheels at the last minute and leaving you to cry in the dust. I remember years ago working on a Nativity where the theme was Angels Watching Over Me (Amy Grant anyone?)  My idea was to have random angels - normally invisible - at the Nativity. One leading the donkey, one prodding the Innkeeper to supply his room behind the house etc. Also, there would be random people throughout the evening wearing wings - including the choir. This was not a secret and wings were purchased at quite some expense. However, really, REALLY near the production time - let's go out there and say same day shall we - a few of the choir said they didn't want to wear the wings. I have no idea why - possibly an assault on their sexuality or an affront to their dignity, I'm not sure. These days, it would probably be classed as bullying and there would be a hashtag to support me but, in those days I was expected to do as I was told. I like to think that if they knew just how much work I had put into it and just how upset and lonely I felt, they would have laughed and put the wings on. Because, as Christians, we are famous for always preferring each other amiright? 

7. Under NO circumstances is it EVER acceptable to funky up the words to Hark the Herald Angels or play it to a disco soundtrack. If it were up to me, this carol would be designated Holy Writ. If people don't understand what "Mild he lays his glory by" is they should not be singing songs for adults. This is the way. Walk in it.

8. Despite all of this, in the end though, it is all about what was in the manger. The prickly, possibly smelly, certainly not fit for purpose manger. Everything points to Him in the end. Nothing else is that important really. And that little baby - the centre and soul of all things will see us through. And that is our comfort really, isn't it?