Feeling My Way

Hello. Well, this is awkward. Obviously, if you are new here it's not awkward at all. You're (hopefully) just having a read and (again, hopefully) enjoying it.

However, you may well be someone who used to read a blog a lot like this and are wondering if you did something to upset me. Because I just went. Disappeared. I mean, I did say that I was going and that there was nothing sinister going on but that was about it really.

I do hope that you are not expecting a dramatic revelation about what happened. I'm not very good at drama, I'm too shy. Although I do quite enjoy a drama unfolding on the bus when a lady with a baby buggy takes issue with an older person with a large walker about just who is entitled to the space at the front. these things are best when they don't involve you and you can pretend that you are very involved in your book while you are listening intently and stealing the occasional glance over your glasses. A firm and fair exchange of ideas is good for the soul but I have to say I think that "Why don't you just go away and have a stroke!" is a bit much though.

Anyway, I digress. Why I stopped. A few things happened obviously. There was something called a "Worldwide Pandemic" which I blogged all the way through quite happily. (When I say "happily" I don't mean that I was enjoying all the death and destruction or indeed that I was partying like it was 1999 - unlike some - I just mean that I didn't really think that it was affecting me much.) However, work was full-on and every spare thought had been and still is about how to keep a small charity afloat when all of its elderly members aren't that sure that they ever want to leave the house again. This left me with very little brain space.

Then, Aged Parent, whose adventures in old age and Dementia you may have been reading about, suddenly seemed to cross a line. She went from a slightly rat-baggy old lady who, apart from the odd word she couldn't remember, was usually more than capable of holding her own to someone who thought that photos were talking to her. On top of this, she received a diagnosis of lung cancer (almost seventy years of smoking will do that to you. Don't do drugs kids). Actually, the lung cancer is very low down on the list of things that bother her - partly because she forgot she had it within about five minutes of the consultant explaining it to her and also because they don't seem to think it is particularly aggressive at this point. Head of House and my good self are still trying to get her life on a more even keel and, one day, when Adult Social Care reply to the email they asked me to send, (3 months and counting folks) I fully expect moves to be made to get her into more suitable accommodation.

Finally, I found myself sort of semi trolled by someone claiming I had made money from a photo they had taken. I have never made any money from this blog. Who would pay for this? I took some advice from a tech friend who helped me tell them to go away but, at the time, it seemed like a final straw and I needed a bit of a rest. I was thinking possibly a month. Then I never went back, because, quite frankly, I was knackered. (Can I say knackered? Probably not).

Still, in the words of the great Joni Mitchell - "You don't know what you've got 'till it's gone." and I found that I missed doing a bit of writing. Actually, Joni Mitchell never really does it for me. I always found her a bit trilly. Not that she cares. My family seem to think this is some kind of sacrilege. Not bothered.

So, if it's ok with you, I am going to try and re-engage a bit. Nothing earth-shattering. A few thoughts that I laughingly call "Christian", the odd book review, some stuff off the telly - that kind of thing. I'll just sit quietly over here and do it but if you felt that you had it in you to read a bit and occasionally comment I would be terribly grateful.