Not Susanna

 

Hello everyone. I hope you are well. I am still dealing with the death of Tony Bennett which I am taking as a personal affront. Tony Bennett was second only to Sinatra in my book. He was the soundtrack to my childhood and a beautiful one at that. Did I ever tell you that I saw him live? If I have known you for more than ten minutes, I must have told you. I tell everyone. It was about 20 years ago in Manchester and it was a privilege to be in the room. Even HOH who sorts of gets it but isn't THAT fussed said he was amazing. So I have spent a couple of evenings playing "I Wanna Be Around" and "I Left My Heart in San Francisco" and generally getting a bit maudlin. We will never see his like again I think. As well as being a singer, he was a painter (a proper painter - his stuff was in the Smithsonian) and a civil rights activist - taking part in The March for Freedom to Washington in 1963. Astonishing. I mean, I bow to no-one in my respect for Gary Barlow but it's not the same thing is it?

While I'm thinking about death, I noticed that today was the anniversary of the death of Susanna Wesley. Susanna was the mother of John and Charles Wesley. Actually she gave birth 19 times. You could say that this made her a paragon of motherhood or you could say that her husband maybe should have thought about leaving her alone. Tragically, nine of her children died as infants and only eight were still alive at the time of her death. I think I have always thought of the Wesley Parents as the Barack and Michelle of the Methodist movement or indeed William and Kate but it seems that he was a bit of an idiot. He left home for a year after a minor disagreement, spent time in prison because of his debts and blew all the family finances on a book about Job - which nobody wanted to buy. In contrast Susanna

• Educated all her children herself
• Educated the girls to the same standard as the boys.
• Did not allow study until the children turned five.
• Set aside time each evening to spend one to one time with each child.
• Grew a "House Group" of over 200 people because people didn't want to listen to the vicar her husband had put in place while he was off gallivanting. 
• Looked after her own spiritual life properly and produced extended Biblical commentaries.

Feeling inadequate yet? Well I do. I was especially peeved because I have been moaning because I have been doing Lectio 365 - a prayer aid  - on my phone every morning and sometimes I struggle because my attention can wander to other phone apps like Instagram, Facebook or the Manchester United Stretford Paddock app. When Susanna wanted to pray, she just pulled her apron over her head and got on with it. A lesser woman than me would be finding her a bit annoying by now. Also, I can't pull my apron over my head because I am a sloppy eater and would get bits of toast in my ear. 

I think that I have to accept that some people will always be more disciplined than I am. I have a bad memory and can be a bit airy fairy. This morning when leaving the church (not forever you understand) and shaking the minister's hand he asked if we had received an email from him as we hadn't responded. I replied with complete conviction that we certainly had not. He was puzzled but proceeded to ask us the stuff that was in the email. (Still keeping up at the back?) Halfway through his (quite involved) description I went cold as I remembered that I had seen the email, didn't particularly fancy getting into it at that time so decided to go back to it later. I then promptly forgot about it forever. I am now having to keep up the deception as the poor chap on the door goes into deep detail about the contents of the email. The decent thing to do would be to say "Actually, I think I DO remember it." Dear reader, I did not do this. I continued to nod with a quizzical look that I hoped conveyed my sorrow at not receiving his questions but my determination to help in any other way I can. Poor bloke. He had already had to preach on "Is Hell a real place?" and was looking a bit pooped. (My advice is never to ask the congregation what questions they would like answered. They never ask nice things about Grace and Love. They always ask about sex before marriage and what does "Turn or Burn" mean).

So sadly, I think I will be leaving Lectio 365 because although it is (a) excellent and (b) free, I have to accept that the same lack of self discipline that lets me eat chocolate digestives with every single cup of tea - sometimes even at breakfast means that I will be better with a book of daily readings. I expect Susanna would understand.

Have a good week.

PS Am away for some of next week so this may be late or not appear. I know you can cope but just letting you know.