Superstar

 

Well, this is been a week. Both Suella Braverman and myself have made incorrect decisions this week. She decided to put her oar in and turn the most thoughtful and dignified day of the year i.e. Remembrance Day, into a sort of "How Low Can You Go?" competition leaving people who wanted to complete a simple act of remembrance, wrestling (literally in some cases) with the results of the Home Scretary's entirely subtle and hard to spot bid for the leadership of her party. Blah. Also, as an aside, I read this week that she is named after Sue Ellen from Dallas? I thought that was a joke but apparently, her real name is Sue-Ellen. Don't say this is not an educational read.

My own incorrect decision has far fewer consequences but it annoyed me almost as much. I decided to go to the theatre on a weekday evening. It's not that I mind going out on a weekday evening. Actually, scratch that. In the main, I would rather not go out in the evening - especially once the bra has come off but I can be tempted. In fact, we are going out next week as well, to see the Reverend Richard Coles do a chatty thing. I'm already having a bit of anxiety about this because the hall we are going to is not that large and there aren't any seat numbers. I hope there isn't any unpleasantness. Still, I think I could take my maiden aunt to see him because he practically IS my maiden aunt. 

No, the annoying thing is that I roused myself to leave the house and I ended up seeing Jesus Christ Superstar. Not accidentally, you understand, I did know what we were seeing. I may have mentioned this before but I was brought up with a father who believed that the Puritans could have done with being a bit stricter doctrinally. We never discussed it, but I don't remember him actually disagreeing with death by burning faggot for heresy. Anyway, I remember, in my childhood, he would simply dismiss Jesus Christ Superstar (now to be known as JCS which sounds like a sofa shop but I can't be bothered to keep writing it) and say "It's Blasphemy!" The thing was - he hadn't ever seen it - so I don't think he could really say for sure. So, I thought it was time I actually saw it for myself. I was fortified in this belief by the knowledge that this was the Regent's Park Production which had garnered awards from here to the end of time and also by my love for Joseph and his Amazing Technicolour Dreamcoat - also by Rice and Lloyd-Webber. We did Joseph as a school performance and I loved it and can still do all the colours if pushed. (No one pushes me). If I had thought about it hard enough and remembered how much I hated Cats - I may have thought twice. (Saw it in Blackpool. Tough crowd. The cats looked genuinely frightened when they had to come prancing into the audience). Now, I am aware that there will be people reading this who love JCS. In fact, I noticed a review by a friend on Facebook who went the night before and she was garlanding it with praise. If you love it - feel free to move on. Portrait Artist of the Year is on in a bit. You'll enjoy that more than reading this probably. I believe it's Nigel Havers. Anyway - if you are still here - this is what I thought.

1. I suppose the clue was in the description of it as a Rock Opera. The clue is in the word "Rock". The cast seemed to be screaming all night - holding high-pitched notes for hours on end in between interminable guitar solos. Everyone in it had a great set of pipes but they were definitely overused. We were in the Upper Circle, which I'm not that keen on anyway because I spend a good proportion of any performance of anything wondering if I would survive if the tier collapsed, and it was loud up there so goodness knows what it was like in the stalls. 

2. I was puzzled by the way that Simon seemed to have a full face of makeup. Not stage make-up. Just make-up. Was there a reason for this? Was it - like rough sleeping - a lifestyle choice? I think we should have been told.

3. The relationship between Jesus and Mary Magdalene was just useless. Jesus was the first man that Mary had met who encouraged her, who didn't want to use her, who watched her find herself - along with the other women in his entourage - as a single, complete person not defined by her relationship to men. She adored him. JCS translated this into them rubbing each other every chance that they got and her singing a depressing song which basically boils down to her wondering if she should sleep with him.

4. I'm not sure that this is anyone's fault but I found the musical numbers and the events they were backing a bit jarring. So, for instance, when Jesus is being whipped and tortured, the company are banging out an excellent version of the title song, which reaches a crescendo just as Jesus is being lifted up on the cross. Then the music stops and everyone applauds and whoops loudly while we are all looking at a representation of a man being tortured to death. I don't know if I have described it properly but it felt a bit off to me. 

5. There did not seem to be any allowance for the possibility of the supernatural. Especially annoying was, after Jesus' death he seemed to find himself sitting next to Judas while they stared at each other with a sort of "That was intense" look and a "What was all that about then?" vibe. I'll be honest lads, I'm not sure myself. 

I'm old and stuck in my ways. You don't have to take any notice of me. I think "doing Jesus" in drama is always going to be difficult - maybe impossible. There will always be miserable crows like me ready to put the boot in. But I didn't like it and you can't make me. Never mind. Soon be Christmas... Have a great week.