Getting on with it

 

CARE. Reference to suicide in this piece.

Hello everyone. I hope you are ok. I have not written for a little while because you are probably here for fun and frolics and I have found myself unable to provide them. Over the last couple of weeks, I have had to make someone redundant, made plans to reduce hours and the service we provide and then a member of staff died unexpectedly. It seems that he took his own life. I am writing about it here because I know there is very little crossover from the people who read this and staff members and those that do read it are already aware of the circumstances. 

To be frank, although we are a small team, I didn't know him that well so I haven't been as affected by it as his friends and family obviously but it was a shock and having to pass the news on to various people was a bit challenging. 

Where do you stand on the old trials and tribulations thing? After this week my Nana would have been telling me that these things happen in threes (why?). My other Nana would be saying "Worse things happen at sea." which they obviously do because ships sink and people get stranded in the water and huge sharks come and pick them off one by one. This is obviously a bad thing but it is not immediately relevant to me as far as I can see. 

If Aged Parent were here she would be saying "Are doing anything extra for God? Have you taken on something for him? Because "You Know Who" will not like that you know and will definitely have a go at you." This would be accompanied by a wagging finger which was intensely annoying. For those not acquainted with the Voldermort/ He who must not be named approach - she was talking about Satan. I don't usually have any truck with this sort of talk, except...we have taken on a role at church (Head of Welcome since you asked. No laughing at the back, please. You know the theory that Barnabas was given that name because he wasn't particularly encouraging and the hope was that he would live up to his name? I think our church may be thinking along the same lines when it comes to me being welcoming. I'm expecting HOH to do most of the heavy lifting around the actual "Hello. Have you been before?" conversations. Mainly because I would rather eat my own shoes than do that sort of thing. I'll be the ideas person.) Where was I? 

Ah yes. Since we agreed to do this - we've had nothing but trouble and I have really struggled to get going with it. Soooo - do you think there is anything in it? What Aged P used to call "Coming Under ATTACK"?

I seem to be still functioning on a day-to-day level so far without running down the street in my underpants wielding an axe and I'm hardly a mighty woman of faith so what is helping?

Firstly. It's not all about me. Even if I feel it should be. (Well, at least a bit more about me). Although I may be affected by things that are going on, I am trying to keep reminding myself that others have it worse which means that worse things do happen at sea.

Then. Relaxing when I can. Glass of wine. Match of the Day. Agatha Christie. Cheese and onion pie. Not all at the same time. 

Being impressed by goodness when I see it. People are ok sometimes. Last night our neighbours  - who have small children and are quite rumbustious at the best of times - had a couple of families round and at 11pm HOH and I were worried that they were going to burst through the wall like Batman. So we knocked on the door and complained. (Nicely. I hate the thought of being those people. However, can I just say, we were 100% correct) Neither of us was happy and thought things might be awkward now. Then, today we returned from church to find this on our doorstep with an apology and two children's drawings attached. (Ratbags. I can never resist a child's drawing.) 

Remembering where I came from and what is still true. More years ago than I would care to share, we used to sing a hymn which I have always found a useful reminder of my place in God and how he feels about me. I've written it how I sing it. If you know, you know. Have a good week.

God is still on the throne,
And He will re­mem­ber His own;
Tho’ tri­als may press us and bur­dens dis­tress us,
He ne­ver will leave us alone;
God is still on the throne,
He ne­ver for­sak­eth His own; pro­mise is true, He will not for­get yoooooou,
God is still on the throne. 

Kittie L. Suffield