Goaling

 

Hello all. I hope you are well. We are fine. I have bought new artwork (see above) for my office from the frankly marvellous Sophie Killingley and I am very happy with it.  HOH is out giving FOW2 an impromptu driving lesson. They go to a local car park where no one can park at the weekend. The problem is that everyone else learning to drive goes there too, so it is full of baby learners all having a go. More kangarooing than Skippy's birthday party apparently. I'm not sure there is that much wrong with the odd missed clutch point. I can do it myself if given the opportunity - especially in our car. Did I ever tell you that I hate our car? I know it is ungrateful but I do. It does that thing where it switches off at the traffic lights so I have sixty seconds of pure terror wondering if it is going to switch on again. It also has brakes that grab you by the throat so everyone is flung forward every time we brake because I can't get it right. I am not an awful driver - a bit too submissive - shouting "sorry, sorry" all the time but I am, in the main, a gentle soul and try not to get in anyone's way. I am driving less and less these days which I said I was going to sort this year but it is September now and I have done nothing about it. 

I used to drive a lot. It was part of my job to visit people in their homes who had problems submitting the paperwork for their disability Direct Payments so I used to baz all over Plymouth - no problem. Well, that's not quite true. There was a bit of a problem. My sense of direction was appalling and always has been. I remember sitting in a car park outside B&Q tearfully explaining to a client on the phone that I wouldn't be able to make our appointment because I couldn't find her house and, in fact, had no idea where I was. She was very nice about it. By the time I got home, HOH had been out and bought me a SatNav. I always say that it was one of the most romantic things that he had ever done for me. 

I wonder if this loss of confidence is one of the things that go with ageing? There are lots of things that are happening to me these days that I thought would never affect me. From looking wonderingly at those Jude supplements that are all over the Internet. (I'm not going into what they are for - a woman has to have some dignity - Google it if you are curious).  Then there is the fact that now, just one custard creme will settle onto my belly and will not move without semi-permanent fasting and it doesn't even need to be a chocolate-covered M&S one.  Also, I think chin hair is the most depressing thing in the world. Really. It's up there with war and famine for me. I know that is weird because they are ubiquitous. I once read an article that said to think of your most glamorous icon - the woman you would most like to look like (Kirsten Scott-Thomas for me) and know that she will get chin hairs. Well, I don't think anyone that fragrant actually does get them and they still make me depressed. I also think that I am more prone to catastrophising everything. If I am not careful, all events in life, are to be worried about because the worst possible outcome is inevitable. I'm not as bad as my father who once refused to pay for dental work because he reckoned he would be "falling off his perch soon" and he didn't think it was worth the money. I think he was in his mid-sixties. But I am getting worse. 

Sometimes, I get the urge to be like one of these women who, in their sixties, begin chair yoga, drink Kombucha (tastes like mushrooms my daughter reckons), write a book, shave their heads and completely re-invent themselves. Then I think "Nah". However, neither do I want to be like Andy Williams bellowing out on one of Aged Parent's easy listening LPs "My Worrrld Keeps Getting Smaller Every Dayyyy." Did you know that Maya Angelou was still lecturing at 80? And Martha Stewart was well into her 60s when she went to jail. The world is our lobster. 

We are mid-September now. That's the time I stop painting my toenails usually - just because I won't be wearing sandals and it's best to give them a rest I think. (There's a nice picture for you). I would like to have at least rushed on with a few bits of my life by Christmas - get some stuff sorted.  Is this why I never hit my goals? Because they are so wishy-washy?  Are you goal setters? How is it going? Is it worth it or should I give in and try not to be too upset because I cannot always remember why I have come into the bathroom? Answers on a postcard.

Things I learnt at church this week.

1. Messy Church was back. Because half the team were away building orphanages in Romania. HOH was roped in to help. He thought he would be "on the door". He ended up kneeling down at a craft table with five little people, up to his ears in lolly sticks and glue having the absolute time of his life. I don't think he will rush back - he had a lot of trouble standing up again but sometimes things you don't fancy turn out to be rather lovely.

2.  Sometimes people kind of want to share with you but they are just really having a go at people who they will then flirt with furiously within 15 minutes. There's a lot going on in some people's lives.

3. Guest speaker and all that I learned was the phrase "The Communion Rail is open" is actually a real sentence. I have no idea what that means. I must be more spiritual.

Have a good week.