Early Christmas Rant

 


Hello all. I hope you are well. We are much better thank you - unless I have to walk uphill. I'm not sure if that is a Covid hangover or just me being desperately unfit. I can walk a long way on the flat but, any hint of an incline, I have always found that I am gasping for breath. My lifelong theory is that when I die - they do a postmortem (no idea why that would happen - unless I was living in one of HOH's awful BBC4 killing spree serials) I think they will find that I only have half a windpipe or lung or something and I have struggled on manfully for ninety years. That is my theory. No one else subscribes to it.

As we move into the winter, the telly has improved I think. Ludwig has just finished and I thought it was really good. I didn't think they would be able to set it up for the next series and it managing to be a satisfying ending as well. Also, after quite a bit of digging, we managed to find the"U" Channel so we could watch the Chelsea Detective. I thought it was very good - nice and formulaic - just how I like it. Really well performed by actors who know what they are doing. Also, Mortimer and Whitehead which is half an hour of joy. 

While I am talking about the telly - something else that is becoming irritating - unusually for me as you know. We have been watching Antiques Roadshow. The rules for Antiques Roadshow are quite simple. You bring in something your Great Nana left to you in her will. It's never something that anyone ever wears but Bunny from the Auction House tells you it is lovely and worth about a thousand pounds. At this point, the owner flinches a bit and should say "Thank you. That is very interesting." But now, everyone says "Thank you for that but I will never sell it." NO ONE IS ASKING YOU TO SELL IT. SELL IT OR DON'T SELL IT.  NOBODY CARES! Everyone knows that Antiques Roadshow gives you a valuation - it's what they do.  Some people might need to sell it. The best-ever episode of Fake or Fortune was when, unusually, they found that the painting was worth a lot of money and the owner said. "Oh, that's excellent. I will sell it and get a bungalow because I am not as steady on my pins as I was. This will change my life." Good for you. Not needing to sell it is a privilege 

Just to cheer you up a bit, I sat in a post-church meeting this morning where we discussed arrangements for Christmas meetings and I was given a few things to look at asap because time is moving on. Good Grief. I suppose it is November on Friday. Also, while we are on the subject, I picked up the M&S Christmas Food Catalogue at the weekend. I don't think there is another place in the world which proves so comprehensively that we have missed the meaning of the whole story. When it comes to Christmas Day food, these days I am very much an "If it's available in a foil tray then it's in" person. I know that for lots of people preparing Christmas Dinner from scratch is an act of love that they actively enjoy. I am no longer that person. We cook from scratch quite a bit - my slow cooker is the answer to most culinary questions and I am thinking of getting my air fryer a place on the Electoral Roll. However, on Christmas Day, I would rather spend the time with a family that has flown the nest and that I don't see as often. (HOH hasn't flown the nest - nobody panic - I meant the kids.) 

So, I take a healthy, if detached interest in the M&S Christmas Food catalogue. I usually get a few ready-made bits from there. But - 85 POUNDS! I'll say it again - 85 POUNDS! As far as I can see that is the STARTING point for a basic Turkey. If you can afford it - well fill your boots. My concern is for those who stretch themselves to try and afford it because that's what they think they should do to make sure that Christmas isn't below par. Also, they have Caviar at £150 a pop and twelve oysters for just short of 30 quid. (You do get a bamboo shucker with that though - hurrah!) I think countless millions of prawns have sacrificed themselves to produce this catalogue - judging by the seafood pages. This is not a call to vegetarianism. This is just me - being astonished. When did M&S transition from the sort of higher-middling food shop to Oysters Are Us? My Nana loved an oyster by all accounts. There was a pub in the centre of Manchester called Sinclairs (still there actually) but its full name was Sinclair's Oyster Bar. My Nana and her contemporaries would go there to partake of the cheap protein (because that's what oysters were) and the presence of the odd Newcastle Brown was another bonus. What a life. 

Do you think that we have lost contact completely with the initial story? Even at its most basic, Christmas is a story of a family of forced refugees doing really difficult things. On Sunday, we watched a short video of a Christian lady in Palestine who runs an orphanage. They have 300 children there. As a Christian, she doesn't really have access to the same support as the majority Muslim population. (Support. Ha! ) The church is sending some money for her to pay the staff some wages. She was gracious and grateful. 

I live a little life. I watch telly. I go to the pictures. I have a week in Tenby. ( It monsooned  - I'm not going again). I dance in the bedroom to Harold Melvin and the Bluenotes. I never get to walk the red carpet with Meryl Streep. I will probably only get to love The Princess of Wales from afar. And I don't think that I will ever sit down to a Christmas Dinner that has Caviar as a starter. And I love it. I am privileged. I have choices. I haven't queued at a foodbank this week. I haven't dug my children out from under rubble. We have challenges and sometimes life is hard. There is worry and bad things happen. This is life. But, God willing, I will sit down to a fantastic, if significantly cheaper, Christmas Dinner this year. (Unless I burn the stuffing again). I will sing songs about God who became a baby and lived a little life in the Middle East yet changed the world. It will be enough - more than enough. Have a great week. 




Comments